Prism of Life
by bhotanni
Summary: Secrets have their price. Three Rangers learn theirs.


**_Disclaimer:_**_ Power Rangers do not belong to me. They don't even belong to Saban anymore ^_- ._

**_Author's Notes: _**_This is a prequel to The Screen Behind the Mirror. It got too hard to tell some of the back story I needed for later parts of Screen so, here is a little foreshadowing for you and a little postshadowing as well ^_- . oh! the first set of lyrics are from Enigma's 3rd Album. **Le Roi es Mort, Vive le Roi **"Prism of Life". and the other song is from one of the **Cowboy Bebop** OSTs. There's so many I don't know which one it's from but the name of the song is "Rain." OK I"ll stop rambling on about things now... READ! :) and Enjoy._

_I am hunted by the future  
Will the future be my past?  
Or is time a fade out picture   
Of my everlasting cast? _

_Love is phasing   
Love is moving   
To the rhythm of your sight   
I get closer   
To the crossing point of light _

Prism of Life  
by: Bhotanni 

Sometimes secrets are more comforting than truth in order to hide from social hardship. Isn't that what is expected of everyone? Not to cause taboos or make negativewaves? What if you don't fit completely into that all American stereotype? What if you fit into that unorthodox, ethnic, and _strange_ caste?  The people talked about only in hushed whispers? And what if by some chance you were called upon to save the world and protect the very people that hated and despised you? Yes, sometimes secrets were good to keep. Sometimes they bring people together... or tear them apart. 

**St. Augustine, Florida: November 12, 1996**  
Kimberly looked down at her belly, tears running constantly down her face. The hardest decision of her life had to be made, and it was out of her hands. The decision which was forced upon her by others. Life in Florida was nothing like she'd expected. The training was hard and bordered on abuse at times but she loved to perform. A bad fall a month ago had taken her out of competition, but Coach Schmidt saw how capable a coach she could be to others without relying on threats and dangerous dietary requirements for the athletes. The Coach saw in her the next generation of mentors; she was caring yet firm with the ability to bring out the absolute best in a person without killing the spirit. She had the ability to elevate and strengthen the spirit of others with the power of her heart. He had even offered her an apprenticeship until she was old enough to get proper certification to be a full assistant and later a coach.

There was however one condition. The child she carried had to go. Her mother promised to disown her if she didn't go through with an abortion, and the coach all but told her the same. Everyone around her told her to get rid of the child. She wanted with all her heart to tell the father and ask his advice, but she feared ending his lifelong dreams. Dreams which he followed freely and with great dedication. If he'd been willing to let her follow her dreams at the risk of his heart; then she could do no less for him. She had to say good-bye to him; fore she knew she wouldn't be able to handle a conversation with him and not cry. She couldn't bear to look into his eyes and see their unborn child reflected back at her. Their relationship would end with a letter.

Two weeks later, the night before she was to go to the clinic; Kimberly dreamed. What exactly she dreamed she couldn't recall the next day, but it left her with a certainty of her course. She held within a rebirth of hope, not to be extinguished. She knew the father would never speak to her again after what she was about to do, but it was the only option she could think of. She would give her unborn child up for adoption.

Some secrets need to be buried very carefully.

****

A warm Californian night rain tapped quietly against the windows as Tommy slept restlessly in his room. When he finally awoke he was gasping for air, looking around wildly. "A dream?" his voice was soft, not trusting his senses. Before he could form any thoughts regarding his dream, his communicator went off and groaned. "I hate night battles." Raisng his arm to his face he kept his voice low as he spoke into the device. "I read you Zordon."

"Tommy, King Mondo has sent a squadron of cogs to reign havoc on the lower docks. The other Rangers will join you." Zordon's voice boomed through the mechanism. 

Tommy was glad he lived in the basement, for he'd forgotten to adjust the volume on the controls. "I'm on my way." 

"May the Power protect you." Zordon's voice sounded just before the communication ended. Taking a deep sigh, Tommy threw his legs over the edge of the bed and pulled on a pair of loungers as an afterthought before teleporting to the docks. 

_I don't feel a thing   
and I stopped remembering   
The days are just like moments turned to hours..._

_Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain   
I walk in the rain, in the rain   
Is it right or is it wrong   
and is it here that I belong _

Tommy and the other Rangers picked off the cogs in a battle of stealth. The reality of the dream faded from Tommy's mind leaving him in an ethereal state. He floated across the cement tarmac taking out his share of the enemy before he was ever spotted. Kat noticed the change in her leader but said nothing. They had all grown accustomed to Tommy's sudden bursts of skill, though they were all still freaked by it at times. 

Before the sun rose the Rangers had defeated the cogs and the monster of the week. Tommy's disturbing dream floated away on the morning winds as another layer was added to his enigma. 

**March 15, 1997: Angel Grove, California  
**Beware the ides. Beware. Jason scoffed in bitterness. They talk about the Ides of March in school, but not that there's an ides every month. He called Tommy four days ago letting him know he was returning early from the Peace Conference. His excuse? He wanted to graduate from high school with his friends. He didn't want to think of the real reason, and the real reason didn't want to think of him either. He wanted to return quietly and recover from jet lag before announcing to everyone else that he was back in town. Not even his parents. Tommy seemed to know the excuse he gave wasn't the real reason. As always with his best friend, he never asked questions, none were ever needed between them. Ever since he had taken the Green Powers from Tommy they'd been linked. 

Jason had always been able to tell what others were feeling, and on rare occasions even thoughts. It was something that was natural to him and made him an excellent listener and even helped him to teach, though he never told anyone about it. When he accepted the Green Powers from Tommy a spark ignited between them and they became linked. A bond they never mentioned to anyone, not Zordon, not even each other. It had felt as if they'd traded something in that brief moment during the transfer of Power.

Secrets that they could tell no one else flowed along the link entering into the unconscious mind. They kept their closest secrets guarded even from each other, though both had a sense of the other's skeleton in the closet. Tommy kept his under lock and key to keep from being pitied. Jason kept his to keep from being ridiculed by others and to keep Tommy from rejecting him. Oh he knew Tommy wouldn't be cruel to him. And would still be his friend but it would drive a river between them that he couldn't stand to have exist. So secrets remained unsaid.

**September 20, 1994: Angel Grove, California  
**Recently every battle seemed to be concentrated on draining Tommy's powers. Jason could only look on helplessly as his friend became weaker every day. It was if he were using his own life energy just to stay morphed during battle. Today seemed like an exceptionally difficult day. The burgeoning link between them was screaming out emotional distress and it took all of Jason's martial training not to show how much he was affected by his friend's pain. 

As soon as his Karate class ended, Jason rushed over to Tommy's house. He walked up to the kitchen entrance ready to do his customary tap on the door before walking in. That door was never locked when someone was home during the day. He was therefore immediately worried that it was today. "That's strange." he said to himself. He shrugged it off as just being an off day for everyone and knocked soundly on the door. 

"Coming!" he heard Mrs. Oliver from somewhere inside the house. "Oh! Jason." she said as she opened the door.  "Hi Mrs. Oliver. Is Tommy here?" Jason asked trying to pretend he didn't know anything was wrong.

"Um. Yes, he is. He's not feeling so well right now. He just," She paused, mincing her words. Jason could tell that she didn't want to tell him what she knew was wrong with her son. "He's just received some bad news, maybe you can cheer him up a bit." She stepped aside to let Jason in. As he walked past her, she added. "I wouldn't ask him about the news just yet." Jason simply nodded and headed up the stairway in the family room up to Tommy's room. 

Once he got to the closed door, he knocked. "Hey, bro. It's me." He waited for a moment but heard nothing. He listened to the link and backed away from the door as the pain and hurt flooded into him. Without hesitation, he tried the door and found it unlocked. "Bro? What's..." When he entered, he saw Tommy sitting on his bed holding the dragon dagger in his hands. "Tommy? What are you doing?" He walked cautiously over to his friend who still appeared to ignore him. 

"Do you ever wonder if all you ever did in life was hurt people?" Tommy spoke quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Tommy. You promised me the last time you felt like that you'd call one of us." Jason spoke tenderly, edging his way toward his friend. He wasn't sure what Tommy would do. His emotions were all over the place and liable to do just about anything at that moment. "Give me the dagger."

"My whole life, Jason. My whole life has been about pain." Tommy fell back on his bed tiredly his grip limp on the dagger at his side. 

Jason realized this just wasn't about Rita turning him evil again. Something else was eating away at him. "What happened?"

Tommy sat up leaving the dagger on the bed. "I saw something I wasn't supposed to see." He closed his eyes trying in vain to reign in his emotions. Jason waited quietly for him to continue. "I told you that I was adopted by the Olivers when I was a kid." He paused a moment. "The truth is, I was only adopted by them about a year before we came to Angel Grove."

Jason looked at him, confused. "Why is that important? We don't think any less of you if you were adopted or not. You know that."

Tommy shook his head. "That's not what I'm getting at, Jase. The point is... Before I was Tommy Oliver, I was Tommy Ferguson." He saw Jason's blank stare. "Tommy Ferguson was in and out of abusive foster homes and he was even put into a sanitarium that got shut down after they found out that shock treatment was used on the patients that were... schizophrenic." Tommy winced. 

"Are you trying to tell me that you're schizophrenic?" Jason asked. 

"I don't think I am... at least not anymore. I looked at my medical file the social worker brought over today. The doctor's office found an abrasion on one of my ribs and asked to have my medical records from before the adoption unsealed.

"Your file was serious enough that they sealed it?" Jason asked incredulously.

"I... Just before the Olivers found me I... I had a drug overdose of ecstasy and alcohol poisoning." Tommy curled up into a ball not wanting to meet Jason's gaze.

"What was so bad? That you that you did that to yourself?"

Tommy refused to look at him. "I don't remember."

"What do you mean you don't remember? You tried to drug yourself to death and you don't remember?!"

"I didn't try to drug myself. My... the guy that had custody of me before the Olivers, he's the one that drugged me." Tommy shook his head trying not to cry. "I don't remember any of it. I don't remember anything before waking up in the hospital and the psychiatrist asking me why I tried to kill myself by slashing my wrists open." Jason looked at him in shock. He'd known his friend's pain was deep, but he hadn't realized it was this dark.

"Jase, when I woke up in that hospital I didn't even know my name. I still don't remember anything except in nightmares. I thought the nightmares were just about what Rita and Zedd did to me. But there were other things in there that I didn't want to acknowledge didn't want to remember. But I still can't... It's gone. I don't know who I am." Jason had forgotten about the Dragon Dagger being near Tommy until he picked it up quickly. "Maybe this time I won't wake up again. I could do it right. They told me that if I'd just gotten it a little straighter there'd been nothing they could do." Jason reacted without thinking and lunged for Tommy's wrist that held the dagger. The two fought for possession of the weapon until Tommy let go of it suddenly. "I give up. I won't do it. I'm tired. I can feel my life draining away from me more and more each day. I just want it to end." 

Jason rolled off of him slowly taking the dagger with him. "This is becoming a habit for you isn't it? Things get too tough and you decide you want to quit." he knew he was letting his anger get the best of him now.

Tommy didn't look at him. "I... my head hasn't been right lately. I feel..." He began but stopped. The link he shared with Jason didn't need to be discussed. It just was. "I won't ever let myself get this low again. I won't give up again. I promise." Jason raised his eyebrow. "I swear by the Power that I'll never let myself get so low as to seriously contemplate suicide ever again. And if I feel bad enough to want to, you'll be the first one to know... one way or another."

Jason looked back at him unconvinced. "That's what you said the last time."

_I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life._ Tommy thought mentally before answering Jason's challenge. "I swear on my mother's spirit..."

_And when it seems that we're in a dead end street   
There's no reason to cry  
Cause we have a helping hand who's always aside   
Forever light _

* * *

The End?


End file.
